Toxicity in Positivity
Body Positivity had its moment to shine, and then…it got toxic. Some may wonder how positivity can be toxic, but anything pushed down your throat or starts to pressure you can become toxic. It started with good intentions, but soon we were under the same kind of pressure as always: to love your body no matter what.
But guess what? That’s not realistic, nor easy. Especially for the millennials, Gen Xers, and beyond. We all grew up with insane beauty standards that are so deeply ingrained in us that it’s a fight to not continue the narratives we were told.
Before the toxicity seeped in, the body positivity movement did a lot for the mainstream media. Brands picked up on this “trend” and we were seeing beauty standards being shattered. Folks of all shapes, sizes, colors, and features were being shown across ad campaigns. This movement made waves and we still owe plenty to it for bringing visibility that was lacking before.
However, once again, unrealistic expectations were set on us. We went from being told all bodies of all types are accepted to, “you have to love your body no matter what”. You may feel like crap from no sleep, stress, sickness…the list goes on, and with toxic positivity, you feel pressured to love the way you look despite those feelings. It’s just not necessary. It’s ok to feel down and I think that’s the important part, we can’t wash over our feelings, good or bad.
Trend or Bust
Once something becomes a trend, its messaging tends to get watered down. People (brands, companies, influencers) jump on the bandwagon who truly don’t care about the root of the problem. Thus, the folks or organizations who truly believe in the mission, get talked over, forgotten about, or dismissed. The media moves on to the next trend and suddenly body inclusivity doesn’t matter to them. Yet, the problem remains. As a whole, we need to address the societal issues around body shaming.
How Being Neutral Wins
Body Neutrality is a term you may started to hear as “body positivity” fades. The name says it all and if you’ve made it this far, you probably have an idea. Being “body neutral” means your focus is on what your body can do rather than how it looks. It’s about finding peace with it rather than hating or loving it all the time. It’s ok to want to change something as long as you don’t get sucked into a harmful cycle of over-training, undereating, or being obsessed with how you look in any capacity. Wanting a change can be healthy! That can be gaining muscle or starting an exercise routine after not having one.
I have plenty of days where I wish I was a different pant or shirt size or had a little more tone here or there. But when I get in those frames of mind, I try to remind myself of what my body can do. How strong it is, where it can take me, etc. We also can get caught in the comparison trap when doom scrolling like wanting her body. When this happens to me, I think about how much time and effort it takes to not only get there but maintain it. Am I willing to put in the work, the time, or make the lifestyle changes to achieve that aesthetic? Chances are no. It’s important to remember that a lot of the folks we see in the media whether it’s a celebrity, athlete, or influencer, get paid to look a certain way. It’s almost a job requirement or at least a side effect of the job. They may have more time or money to work out, hire a chef, a trainer, a nanny, or do whatever it takes. Lastly, they may be completely unhealthy! We cannot know the inner turmoil from a social media post.
Break Free from Festive Fads
This time of year we can be bombarded with messaging like “earn that pie”, “burn off those holiday calories”, “fit into that holiday dress”, “indulge without the bulge”. I HATE THIS MESSAGING SO MUCH.
YOU DO NOT NEED TO EARN CALORIES.
YOU DO NOT NEED TO BURN OFF LAST NIGHTS MEAL BEFORE EATING AGAIN.
It just doesn’t work that way. There is a big difference between wanting to work out because you feel like “wow, I did overindulge and exercising would make me feel better by getting my body moving again” vs. “I ate so much I have to burn these calories stat and starve myself today”. The same goes for, “I worked out so now I can eat as much as I want”. It just isn’t that simple. We have such a skewed view of how many calories we intake or exert.
I 100% support working out through the holidays and know that it can be easy to get out of routine at this time of year. Which is why I have a “Quick Holiday Workouts” Guide. This is not meant to make you feel like you have to work out before your holiday meal or after. This is meant to provide you with a sense of normality because you are short on time because of traveling, hosting, kids being out of school, or your routine being out of wack in any way.
Exercising makes plenty of us simply feel good and that’s why we do it. I think that’s the main reason you should do it (plus the health side of it)! Other goals come secondary in my opinion.
Body Peace for the Holiday Season and Beyond
Don’t fall for the schemes like those listed above. Also, if you’re an instructor or trainer, I hope to whatever spirit you believe in that in 2024 you are not saying these things to your clients/customers. The holidays are supposed to be times we enjoy, though they are actually tough for many of us for a variety of reasons, why make them tougher with this pressure to do 50 burpees before enjoying a piece of pie? Or the need to lose 10 pounds come January 1st? If you enjoy it and can make the time to workout during the busy holiday season, then by all means, do it! I sure will be. But if I miss a day, I won’t be doing twice as much the following day(s) to make up for it.
Change takes time, effort, and sometimes sacrifice. Be realistic with your goals and above all, appreciate what your body can do, don’t focus on it being perfect. After all, perfect doesn’t exist or stay the same forever.